I have to be honest – when people post online multiple times per week/month about how amazing their spouse is, I kind of cringe. That sounds super unkind – and I never want to sound that way, but it just makes me tick a little. I don’t know why this is because I love love. BUT – that is what I am about to do right now…
Most of the people that follow this blog (at least right now, anyways) I know personally. So this story wont come as a shock to many. But I wanted to take a moment to introduce my husband and I so you know a little more about the life behind the posts.
Today Nick is 26, I am 28. We met in high school in a suburb east of Columbus. Nick had long, wild hair – listened to alternative music – and wore tight jeans. Lets just say I had to have him. We dated briefly in high school, but it wasn’t until my freshman year in college that we started dating consistently.
From there we lived with friends on campus, and then in Clintonville, and then together in German Village. Those were some of the best times. In 2013 Nick and I bought our first house in the suburbs. I wanted so badly to be out in the country, but with our modest budget and busy lifestyles it just wasn’t feasible. I loved our little M/I build. It was clean and bright and beautiful and ours. I still miss that house. We shared so many good memories there. Actually the day we put the for sale sign in the yard I literally cried all night long and contemplated changing our minds on the move. But I am happy we stuck with the plan, that was such a great time in our lives and I will always think of it with complete happiness, but I love where we are now, too.
And then the journey #fromsuburbanhoodtochoppinwood began! We had been looking for months with no luck on the perfect property/home/location. Because we were having no luck in our search we had made plans to move in with my parents… but at the literal last minute (we had 24 hours to get out of our last house) we found this little cabin style home on a hill. It definitely wasn’t what I had dreamt in my head. I saw us in a white farm house with a wrap around porch that was built in the early 1900’s. But the second I pulled into that driveway to view our home in the middle of October, all of the 100 trees beautifully changed, I was done. I look back and still think – why did I buy this place!? The garage and barn were the ugliest color brown, the house so dark and the opposite of what we like. The house is fairly small and nothing had been touched since the 80’s. But I walked through the doors and saw so much potential. It had a barn for my future photography studio, an oversized 4 car garage, a long gravel drive, and a unique little home with a big deck overlooking our 4 acres… I thought “this will do.” But what I’m writing about today is not our home… But our love and life.
I really just want to write about Nick today. Ugghhhh this man! Been making me crazy in all the right ways for the past 9 years. I find myself saying “nobody told us how hard this was going to be!” quite frenquently. But actually, they did. How many times in your life have you heard “marriage is hard.” It was hard for me to even imagine that because we had had such an incredible start to our lives. We lived downtown and that phase of life was so much fun, bought our first home, bought motorcycles and vintage trucks, had cookouts with friends, adopted the best puppies in the world, took trips – its been great. We argue, let me be clear. We are as normal as they come. We have our issues, we don’t always communicate the best, sometimes we have bad weeks. But I literally cannot imagine a world without my Nick.
I just love him. I love his fearlessness, I love his constant laughter. I love how much he loves the outdoor cat that came with our house. He is always thinking of her and taking care of her and I find it to be completely adorable. I love his willingness to make me happy. I appreciate that he never complains. I love that he hates when the bottom of the comforter is tucked under the bed so you can’t stick your feet out, because I hate that too. I love his hair and his clothes and his butt. I love his boots and his tattoos and when he chops wood with an axe. I love that he is quiet, introverted. He doesn’t have to be the center of attention, he listens and laughs and I find this to be so sweet. I love watching him with our puppies. I love that no matter the challenges he has had to face in life (which have been a lot more than I) he gets back up and keeps on keepin on. I love that he claims me on an airplane, because my behavior is hardly that of an adult. I appreciate that he is sensitive to my quirks and fears and allows me to make so many decisions because of that. I love that he didn't kick me off the top of the mountain in the Smokies when I was hysterically crying and acting like a literal crazy woman. I love that he has spent his weekends for the past 15 months working so incredibly hard on our home to make me happy. I love the way he looks on his motorcycle. I love his love for socks. He has literally 60+ pairs of the cutest socks. I love that he tries really really hard not to laugh at me, but after my constant persistence he finally caves into a fit of laughter. I love that he never worries, that he truly doesn’t fear things. He reminds me that its not useful. I love watching him with our nephew and our friends kids, one day when the time is right he is going to make one really good dad. I love that he trusts me. I love that even though he feels medium about Christmas, he will still cut down trees and stand on ladders and let me blast Christmas music through the house because he knows how much I love it. I love how impressed he is with me when I tear out drywall or install light fixtures on my own. I love that he let me keep my last name without question. I love that I’ve turned him into a little bit of a clean/germ freak – how can the sight of him washing his hands make me so happy? I love that he notices how hard I work to keep our relationship fresh and fun. He appreciates my efforts to keep us in check and happy. I love him for standing by his wedding vows.
I’d be lying if I said the last year didn’t test us. There have been so many moments of doubt and uncertainty. Infertility issues will definitely put a strain on a relationship. I’ve said and done things I am not proud of. We’ve wept and we’ve been angry. But we’ve continued to fight for us. We are fighting for ourselves, for each other. Fighting to keep our relationship strong. Fighting for our future family. I just need Nick to know my appreciation for him. That even when I felt like I was at the bottom, the lowest I have ever felt, he never once considered an out. I watched our wedding video last week alone in our bed in the middle of the day and I felt a rush of “oh my god I love this man and our life.” I think its really easy to forget the good when you’ve been faced with so much bad. I love photos for this reason. I’ve found myself flipping through our chatbooks, through our photo albums, through old hard drives… It gives me this overwhelming feeling of happiness. (and what encouraged me to write this post) Remembering the trips, the boring nights at home, the big moments, and the small moments. I am just so glad that we found each other and are committed to this whole life thing together. Even though we are in a waiting phase, and a period of life that hurts more than others, I don’t want to waste this time with him. Every single day is one more I’ve gotten to live a life I truly do love. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I know I am going to hold that hand as tight as I can and conquer it together. I wanted to say this all today because I don’t say it enough. To him, to anyone. I want to shout from the rooftops I LOVE YOU NICK CARY. My hubs, my scrabble opponent, my my puppy parenting partner, the one who my heart loves.
I love every single one of these moments... of learning, growing, exploring, and loving hard. Babe thank you so much for all you've given me. My forever Valentine. #dateyourhusband
XOX - Ashley